Raising good kids is no easy task. Some parents leave the job to Elmo and the scriptwriters at Sesame Streets while others leave the responsibility to teachers.
For kids, teachers and TV icons may often achieve hero-like status and are always seen as a good role model to imitate. If you leave it like that, you’re leaving the golden opportunity to teach them your values.
It’s sad that most parents forget that it’s what they encounter at home that counts the most. If you fall into this category, it’s time to take back the responsibility of raising good children.
If you want to raise good kids, these 5 parenting tips may help:
1. Praise Good Behavior
Too little praise devalues and depresses them, whereas too much praise pumps them full of unrealistic expectations. What you need is just the correct dose of praise. And more importantly, praise the right behavior.
Too many parents nowadays praise or reward their kids for lying. Asking your kids to tell the bible salesmen that mommy is not home and rewarding it with „Thanks!“ or candies is the wrong way to nurture your little ones.
Praise only good behavior if you want your kids to behave. And criticize or punish bad behavior. This way you’re giving them reward at the correct place and your children will learn that bad behavior is not tolerated.
At the same time, there’s another thing about praise you need to remember. If you caught yourself sounding like a fake, you probably are pumping the kids unneeded praise. Praising kids is like watering your plant; you need just the right amount to nurture your plant. Too much kills it.
2. Decide Your Values
Social skills are the one important skill we always take for granted. We put our kids in school to learn how to read, write or excel in math. We spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars in books, educational toys or cd to make sure they are at par with their peers when it comes to intelligence and educational skills.
Unfortunately, we spend little time teaching them social skills, assuming this will just falls into place. Thus, many academically talented kids are socially challenged. That’s why many parents are surprised to know that their kids end up being a school bully.
Don’t neglect your kid’s social needs. Teach them about making friends, tolerating others, handling people and all the other social skills no textbook can teach. Spend time talking to them, it’ll change many things.
3. Take Advantage of Teachable Moments
Kids learn better when they see something in action. Thus, when there are teachable moments, grab the opportunity to educate your kids. This is one of the most neglected aspects of parenting.
When you see bad or unwanted behavior occurring in front of you, take your time to tell your kids why he or she shouldn’t behave like that. And when good things appear before your eyes, make sure your kids are also watching and grab the opportunity to educate them.
What appears in front of their eyes is more readily absorbed than countless nag by you or their teachers. As some say, action speaks louder than words.
4. Limit on Electronics
Pay attention to what they watch or play. Almost every year you’ll read a news story about kids who jumped from their balcony trying to imitate Superman or injure themselves while trying a wrestling maneuver.
We are living in a time where visual stimulation is more than enough. A lot of kids don’t go spending time playing baseball anymore because they can play it in their living room, thanks to PlayStation or X-Box. Instead of reading a book, they’re surfing the net.
Put a halt on this problem. Limit their „electronic simulation“ intake. If you restrict TV or their computer time, they’ll eventually discover something to do that doesn’t require buying more things. Not only this means saving you money, it could also save the children from unwanted influences.
Get your kids to the park or enroll them in a sports team. Spending 10 minutes playing soccer will be far healthier and more rewarding that spending 10 days perfecting soccer maneuver in a pc game.
5. Be Firm
Letting your kids to have her own way after crying and whining tells her that she can get away by making other people’s life miserable.
Some parents will relent because they want to avoid a scene. However, in keeping with their terms, you’re teaching your children that fussing work. Thus, the next time they want something you’ll see the same tactics used.
One way to tackle this is by making them promise to you that they will not ask for anything, even before stepping out of the home. Teaches them about the importance of promise and the kind of action you will take if they break it.
Your job as a parent is to help your children. Having good kids is not an accidental thing. It takes time, patience and skills. The most important thing is you take the time to learn and apply them to your kids.
If you want to be a proud father or mother, start teaching your kids the right values when there are still small. Do not waste the golden opportunity to teach them while they’re absorbing your ideas without much resistance. Start while they are small and you wouldn’t have a big headache when they’re big. It’s as simple as that.